Hello lovely!
Wow, don’t know how long i didn’t blog alr.
& if i blogged it means there’s really really a lot of things bothering me and i’ve no idea how to vent it out. I don’t know how to speak out i don’t know how to express myself because i suck at this!
How many of you have a relationship that last for 3 years and more?
Honestly, i don’t deny that i’m those kind of girl that will fall-in-love easily!
I cant deny that guys that show me more affection, concern and understand me well have a plus point in my heart. I used to be rly 犯贱 & only wants those who doesn’t wants me!
I always choose the “2nd” one instead of the 1st. Because i believe in, “if there’s a second one choose that, because if you rly love the 1st one there won’t be any second”
I believe that shit, i rly do.
So i always choose the “2nd” one and break the 1st’s heart & know what?
At the fucking end of the day, i regretted when i see them living happily with their new girlfriend, being the best of them & enjoying their lives.
and my mind would be like ”THAT SHLD BE ME”
i legit was that digesting. But after i met my current, things changed.
I go the other way of my choice. I choose him back instead of the 2nd.
But deep down, i knew that this relationship will never be the same again.
Never never will it be the same.
I’m trying to pull myself out from this rls, but he just pull me closer to him and that’s really shocking.
He proved to me that he forgive me & i prove to him that it was a moment of folly!
Things was going well after that.
But of course in beteeen there’s still some arguments and quarreling over minor things.
But at the end we are still able to get back tgt as one. Really thankful to have him, really really!
But things ain’t the same recently. I’ve no idea why this rls is getting further and further away from me. Sometimes i don’t even know what am i hanging on for.
I feel so suffocated, feel so tired of everything.
I feel that the gap is there, we hardly meet and we hardly communicate properly.
He don’t understand what i’m trying to say and i’m those hot tempered girl, i get pissdd off & frustrated fast. Mainly i hate to explain myself over and over again
i find it sooo hard to communicate to him, and i find it hard to accept the fact that he don’t understand me.
