Tired.

Hi it is me again! 

I am so exhausted from every single thing.

Very exhausted, very tired and very drained. I doesn't know what else to do anymore.  

Sinking

So out of sudden, this weird feelings hit me up. I see how much I have drifted from my secondary school mates. We were so close that we used to share the same toothbrush together; we used to shower together during our CCA camp, we used to hang out every single day aft school for lunch, but after I left secondary school, they continued their secondary 5, and that’s when I realise I have drifted so much from them. 

I was quite ashamed that I couldn’t make it for their 21st birthday party as I have to work and I couldn’t take off on that day as my job is lacking of manpower, next is because I doubt I will have the ability to treat them to good food at that point of time. The feeling to get back in contact with them is so strong yet at the same time, I doesn’t know where do I start. 

It wasn’t really easy to maintain a good friendship neither was it easy to find a good and understanding friend. 

Sometimes I wonder why can’t I just be clever a little, why can’t I study harder a little? Why why why? I just miss having them in my life, talking and contacting each other as and when we need. 

I came across a post saying that we do not need to have any close friend to feel happy and having close friend doesn’t define happiness, for this half of it was quite true but on the other hand it wasn’t. 

I don’t even know how shld I put it in words. Dislike having this kind of late night thoughts. 

If time can rewind back, I would make things be different from now, but that’s just IF. 

Honestly, at times I do wonder if I ever crossed their mind. 

Ahhh, I am drained! It is time to rest. Goodnight x (':