The worst part of break up

The worst part of break up was when you still love and miss this person yet you can't have him / her. The worst part of break up was picturing him / her together with another one.  The worst part of break up was thinking that the things we did together will be just us, but nah, it will be replaced by another person. The worst part of break up was wanting to share all the little things happened in our daily lives but you hold back on whatever you wanna say and tell it to another person . And the very worst part of breaking up is knowing that, we will never be back anymore.......

我真的真的好想念你。 你到底在哪里？太多的东西太多的话都很想告诉你，也只是你。你是不是像我一样，那么想我呢？Super miss those days whereby we are still we and it is still mad and yang. I today saw you deleted our photos from your Twitter and it hurts me so freaking much that a tears just rolled down my eyes. 

你曾经说过你不会在弄我哭了，你说过我哭了，你会用你的手来为我檫眼泪，你说过我可以告诉你全部的东西，那你现在，在哪里了？ 为什么过了那么久，我还是会为了你而哭，而觉得心痛呢？或许在我的眼里，你就像一个大 baby，我还没有把我全部的爱给你，你就转身走了。

分手最痛的就是，明明还很爱，可是要假装一点都不管，一点都不爱。 明明很想要可是什么也做不了。明明很想挽回，可是不敢。如果，我们可以把事情全部放下，重新开始，那该有多好啊。真的很怀念当初的我们。我想你应该是把我们的照片也删掉了吧。。。。而我没有。。

还记得我不能吃什么吗？请你不要忘记啊。。。我会很伤心的哦。。我好讨厌自己。说好了不会再哭了。不会再为你而掉眼泪，我现在又哭了。我是怎么了啊？你也是的，为什么要弄我那么的爱你。为什么要我那么的辛苦。为什么要跟我 3 年过后又要和我分手？我现在多希望你会跑来找我给我一个拥抱，一个非常非常久的拥抱就好了。。

哦。。你这个坏蛋，明明知道这个女的不适合你，你就不要拖人家的时间。明明知道妈妈是不喜欢的，你就不要每次带她回家。很多事，我都是知道的，只是我不说而已。心痛也是自己来承受。哭也是自己插眼泪。没想到，你所说的很爱我，第一个也是最后一个，都不是真的哦。现在有别人取代我了哦。

可是我还是我, 我想有些事你和我都也应该是习惯而她不习惯的事，有时做的东西有可能你以为很普通可是对于她来说是“什么来的“ “为什么” 。 我们的云吞面，我们的 lotus soup w和我最想要吃的豆芽，和两包饭。我的三口白饭的习惯。我们吃饱后，你洗肥皂我冲水要不然就是，最后一个吃完的洗碗。每次，一个眼神就知道， “哦，我们去丢垃圾” ，你就会去拿垃圾，我就会去房间拿烟， 结果是去抽烟啦。

有想念我家这边的咸蛋四季豆吗？那边做工的人都知道我们了，🉑是现在你也不在了。。还有我妈妈的凉茶。还有很多的还有。。。我哭到累了啦。。

多希望现在的你在驾车的时候还会想到我和我们，可是我知道不是我浮现在你的脑海里了。如果时间能够倒流，我对天发誓我还会选择你，我会改变我自己，我会好好的爱你。我真的好想你啊。。

现在我只能说，祝你幸福而不是 goodnight bb I love you n I miss you idiot. Jubjub. 

就希望你会过得开心点。希望你会幸福。比以前还要开心快乐。(-:

Rainy day

Hi hi, 

It is raining heavily now and suddenly alot of things hit me hard. Well, knew quite alot of things that I shouldn't have know from my past but rls but I guess life goes on with or without him. 

I knew that I put in my best in my prev rls, I did what I can but somwtimes things just don't go our way. When I re read our convo , the last  message we sent to each other, I wonder what he said is it real. Didn't believe that so fast I can be replaced too when he said he loved me so much. HAHA. 

Well, life goes on ya. (:

So much memories for both of us and it is not easy to say forget then forget. I tried my very best to not think of him when I'm free but at times I really really do miss him but after last night where I knew alot alot of things, I asked myself if this is the guy that I once knew and once loved before... 

Last time, no matter what happened no matter how hard we quarrelled, I had never get tired of him and not even have the mindset of giving up on this rls despite always telling him I'm tired because I wants him to change for the better. At times I asked myself if it is wrong to stress him but if I don't tell him the right things, who will? Ultimately , I lose this rls. Hahahaha. 

Sometimes when I pass by certain places, I picture of us being together, I picture the secne we did and us. 18 chef, sazairiya, jcube, jurong point, bus 241, bus 99 and alot alot. 

I rem when we first started out, he will come over to my place to surprise me and send me to work despite long bus ride and I rem him telling me " I want to pei you so you won't b so boring and lonely in the bus " awwww. 

Everything pass so fast. I also remember when we first started off, he have nothing at all and me too but why we can be so sweet? What happened and what makes us change? 

I remember I cleared his room drawer for him, threw alot of rubbish for him and force him to pack his waredrobe. I rem asking him to help me with my schl assignment and he will always just sit there and watch me do. Awww so sweet. I remembered I cried so badly and told him " take this few days as never happened " because he said something that saddened me and we laughed about it at times. HAHAHA. FUCKUP. 

I remembered him teaching me how to ride a bicycle and he got so dulan with me and we somehow argue. HAHAH I said " 你要教人也要有patience 的吗 " I remembered when I go to his place to find him, he will come out and drag me to his house stairs there to smoke and we will always sit there secretly to smoke HAHA. Sometimes after dinner we will like tell his mom " er.. we go down find friend " but actually fact we went down to smoke and come up. Keke. 

I remembered how he will reject his mom when his mom cooked my fav crabby. Aiyooooo miss mama home cooked food. Hehe. I remembered he will always rush me to go wash my leg when I enter his house but I always refused. And there is this time, I got playful and when we washing our leg, I wanted to lock him out from his room and I ran out from the toilet and I FELL ONTO THE GROUND!!! And this idiot didn't help me up first, he laughed so loudly at me first then help me up and make fun of me. Idiot !!!!

I remembered he went to buy the lights for his room wall and we on it, with aircon and we blast music and both of us were lying on the bed singing. I remembered we went to jcube for lunch, and we came.across this sell karaoke stall and he stopped by and see. I can see from his eyes that he really wants it and thus he pulled my hand and we went into the shop. At first I object that he buy that and we left the shop to have our lunch. After lunch, he looked again and then my heart went soft like.... WHO DW TO SAYANG THIS CUTE LITTLE BOY? so I told him " ok we half half " HAHAHA and we got it. 

I remembered he will always get so pissed off with me when I don't wait for him after we left his place and he need to lock the door. HAHAHA. I remembered that we got lock out from the house a few times because he have no keys to enter. and he will always like " walan eh, 真的叻他们。每次这样的 " And there is time we went down to his blk to sit and smoke and chat. Hais, miss that shit. 

I remembered he will always wait for me at the subway there and I will get angry because he said he will fetch me from MRT and then he will tell me " ya what this is mrt what " /." I'm smoking leh bb " HAHAHAHA. Last time will get pissed off w him but now think back it is kinda cute of us. RIGHT?? I rem he will bite my cheek as and when out of sudden and I got shocked and I will get pissed off w him too. hahaha. Eh pain sia. 

I rem he will asked me why I don't always post pictures on social media and my reply will always upset him. HAHAH silly boy. Sometimes I rly forget la, sometimes never think dao. Ok la sorry ...  I love how he will say something funny that will make my mom laugh, and i love how he will like " MADAM " when he saw my mom with his fake phliphines accent. And I love how mama will sayang him and will always ask me to bring one btl of herbal drink after she brewed and this boy will finished it. so guai. (: 

Oh boy, he still owe mama one meal oh. HAHAHA. Actually all this memories is really really good. Like I hope I can recollect all this memories from the beginning till now and keep it in my mind till I'm old. But I know as time passes , all thses memories will slowly fade away.... (': 

We will start with someone new we will forget about the things we did prev, we will forget the happiest moment we had, we will forget the feeling we had for each other and till this point, I admit I still care and love for you alot. But I know things changed, you no longer think about me you no longer have feelings for me and other girl is taking over my job. Can't believe the one that is sleeping next to you is not me anymore but another girl. Can't believe the girl that youre hugging to sleep is no longer me, can't believe it is no longer you that is smelling my hair and tell me it is " bb girl girl 的味道 " Can't believe the one that is sharing your towel is not me but another girl. And soon alot of things she will take over and it will no longer be me. This is the worst part of break up because 曾经我为你做过的，现在其他的人要做了 and likewise too... 

Misterjy, I miss you and I wish you all the best in everything. 就让这些美丽的回忆放在我的心里，有空我会去想和记得我们在一起的日子。希望你会过得好。希望你会好好照顾你的爸爸和妈妈和妹妹和你自己没。

宝贝傻的比真的是要放手了。

Goodbye my love. 

03112015 xoxo. 

I deleted all this pic from Twitter because it hurts me so much but on the other hand , 我舍不得。。。 How silly me. 

idiot!!!! so cute

I swear I was v proud of you but think back this was where things was going to change..... (':

you fuckup.... but I know you really is buxiaoxin one hehe

虽然我们在一起3 年，是真的不是很长，可是我还是很珍惜每一天和你在一起的时间and that explains why I will always want to meet you ...

是啊，有你的感觉真好。。

sunshine to bread man. HAHAHA. BOTAK BOY.

thank you for staying awake to wake this little piggy up. actually I was smiling when I sent all that text to you. like legit I felt so happy and blessed. (:

awwww..look who is that!? SO SWEET HOR.

awww... the anniversary present. Sad to say I stopped wearing it already.

the first time we went to this cck place to have dinner and you so sweet, you asked mama they all to order something I got eat one. hehe

Okay na, bye bye le oh. Hehe x

Happy new year

Hello I'm back keke.

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!!
Yea I know it is kind of late to wish but whatever la, now still cny period la hor. (:

Wa my cny is rly boring sia. Like I used to go bainian for continuously like 3 days. But this year just 2 days and then I'm done.
Like sb fast please!?! But also ok la cos the angbao still not very little la. HAHAHA.

And guess whut, yesterday one of my relative passed away... heart is heavy!

okay and next, IM LIKE FALLING SICK SOON AGAIN I THINK!?!?
Wa damn sian man. Like I swear... I vomited whatever I ate including my medicine for my skin and then I got so restless and tired. Last night can't even sleep well flip here and there until 5 in da morning. Life sucks hor.
And then today start work lo...!!
Damn shag la, fucking cranky and grumpy. Omy. Ok, very pekcek with everything now. Goooodiesssss bye xoxo.

你好，最近还好吗？I saw your tweets recently is very very emo. I hope everything is going well for you la. I don't know what happened but then I guess there is other girl that making you headache. HAHA. just let natural takes it course ok.
Anyway, that time I saw Eunice n Jovan on bus and then I was so excited and I unlock my phone wanted to snap a pic but I realise WHO CAN I SHARE IT WITH?? HAHAHAHAA. Then I act blur like never see her . Anyway how is your cny?? Boring righttttttt. HAHAHA. I SAW YOUR STORY. Rem 1 year ago I got angry at you for not joining me to my relatives house to bainian? HAHA, so fast 1 year had past.
So you only seen my mum's side relatives like once, which is last 2 years ya?
wow 3 years of rls really is very long that we can did so many things together. DID U MISS MY NAGGINGS AND MY IRRITATING VOICE?
do you miss having me to always pester you to yangyang me?? HAHA.
Omg memories will always remains as memories la. (:
okay man, am going to shower and head out already. See ya soon and take care of yourself. 😁