好想讨厌你

Hello!!

On 3 November 2015, we got together and 

On the 3rd of January 2020 , it was our 4 years and 2 months... 

On August 8 2018 , I lost you. Or in fact, June 2018 I had already lost you just that I didn't realize. 

And now here on 5th January 2020, I am still thinking about you thinking about us. 

I am thinking how come things will ended up to where we are now. Where are all the promises that we both make before? Where is the "you will be my first n last?" "I will bring you out to see more next time" "I will marry you and have our own baby?"

It had already past 1 year and it feels like it is just few months since you left. 

Why issit that you can act like nothing happened and continue with your daily life but why am I still stuck in this nightmare and past?

How long more do I have to wait to fully get over you?

Last night I was scrolling through our chats and photos, I didn't shed a tears instead, I smile. When I look through the photos we took, I can imagine those feelings those mood those happiness at that point of time we took it. 3 years with you and it is never easy but I know it is worth it. (:

ITE life, was carefree and worry free, after your school we will meet, and I rem the very first time you brought me home was a secret mission and your mom was at china that time. You will helped me with my school course that time, helping me to type and save in your comp and to thumb drive, we would take nap and eat at home or yewtee point and even take lots lots lots of selfies together with the rinakuma. You will take pic of me sleeping beside you and will always stare at me when I am sleeping. You will brush my hair and sayang me with a kiss. 

You will send me to swt to work, you will wait for me to end work and you will send me home. We will always have alot to talk from the long ride bus home. I rem there is one time I was very drunk at work and I called you, and you rushed over to fetch me home and we went to your house, you didn't scold me but I know you wasn't happy. You stay beside me while I was happily drunkly sleeping. And when I am awake you will still care about me and sayang me. Heheh.

After that, proceed to you entering NS. 

that day, both of us cried so badly or even the night before your enlistment. We cried and we took selfies, and things was still going fine until shits happened and I did you wrong. But thanks god that I choose you at the end and you did not give up on me. And from then, I told myself to treasure you and cherish you, everything was fine then. And let's move on to your ORD and you found a car repair job, your hands was all black and finger nails was so dirty, you asked me if I mind and sometimes I will jokingly said I mind make fun of it but ya, actually I really don't and I admire you working hard for yourself and I know partly for me. Then you got your driving license.

I am happy for you at that time of point and I rly hope you will pass it. I rem accompanimg you to test drive arnd your blk with your daddy and I kept on making fun of you. I remember how you will keep chiong your lesson one after another and I know that's is your passion. 

And soon after, you got your license!!! Huhuhu, I was too happy and I remember I posted every where to congrats u!! 

And then you start to rent cars and that's when our problems start to pour in. If only that time both of us know what is good for us, things won't end up this way. But all this aside, you will bring me out for my fav satay you will fetch me from yunnam you will send me home and there will alw be a small date with you and those rented cars. 

And then you finally got your own car (小 mad) because you said car house needed one, and that's when our rls got from bad to worst. 

We meet lesser and lesser our convo is always quarrellings and arguing about cars and time and effort. 

And yea...... Shits happened after that.

It was such a long journey but it felt that it was just yesterday. When I am typing all this I did not have to stop and think back, it just flashes in my mind. I afraid as years passes , all this memories of you and us will fade....I am afraid one day you will forget about me... I am afraid that other people will replace me in your heart. 

As much as I want to tell you again, I love you bb, I know it doesn't matter anymore. 

Please don't forget me, my name, my laughter my cute baby face and the cheek that you love to pinch and bite.

Till here! (':

Add on some vid of us. Those happy days. (':
Glad that I make vid to keep it as a memories. I just hope my iPhone won't spoil... Too much memories in there, from the old phone number that you used till this current number. And each WhatsApp's record had over 1k+ of videos and images.