rainbow will be out soon

Dai ge ho ! :D 

Guess who's back? haha. 

where do I start from? um. 

actually I'm kinda speechless now, because too many things is going on my mind 

and I have no clue where to start from. 

It's like everything came hitting on me and I couldn't take it. 

yesterday I was sitting on a round table near my house, crying so badly. 

and I picked up my phone, I called those people that i feel like, 

and guess what? 

huimin answered my phone straight away. 

and I only say "hello"

she know I'm crying. she stopped everything she's doing and hear me out. 

She tried to give me advices and I'm fucking thankful for that. 

next, my primary school friend, 

tho ne didn't picked up my call, but he called me back within 5 mins. 

Tho he's tired aft work, but he still hear me out. 

When I was alone sitting at the round table, I asked myself,

who will really be there for me when I have problems? 

who will cry for me if I'm dead? who will regret not telling me that they love me 

when I'm still breathing?

I didnt slept well the previous night. 

Woke up in the middle of the nights for 4-5 times. 

flipping here and there, rolling to and fo my bed and I still can't find any reason 

to fall aslp with peace. 

people asked me if I'm okay, 

I only can smiled and say "I will be okay soon" 

I know I'm v always emotional with my thoughts and my endless dramatic life. 

I'm tired of it too. 

when can I really be happy ? when can I tell everybody

"hey, I'm happy today" 

when can I proudly update my blog w ONE happy post??

I guess it had been a long time since I was happy. 

I can't even remember when was I really happy. 

They said " it's just a bad day and not a bad life, live w it " 

YES! I know. I know all this logic! 

my thoughts are so deep that it always kills me in the inside & it's legit. 

I might not show it, but trust me, I wasn't really happy about my life. 

I made a lot of mistakes and I wish I could rewind the time. 

I make a lot of bad choices in life and I hope I can re-make the choices again. 

But no, time won't rewind anymore. 

and what can I do? 

Live w it and suck thumbs. (':