keep moving

Did you ever felt that everyone is busying with their own things 

and 

you're the only one who's so god damn free? 

Because I felt this way. 

Well, I work, I've school, I've project to do, 

but no matter how busy how many things I had to do, 

at the end of the day, I'm still stuck in those thoughts. 

I'm really tired. 

Friends.... I have. 

those few primary school friends of mine, we had drifted.

Both of them have their own gf to accp.

another one is busy w work and work. 

But thanks god the one working, didn't forget about me. 

He still came down to my workplace when he know I needeed him. (: 

really really wanna have some time w all 3 of them. 

Talking about the life we had during primary school days. 

tho I may seem small things to people out there but I swear this is my dream.

but seem like nobody is free. :')

Another friend of mine, we drifted in one night time. 

I can't even believe in her heart, I'm sucha easily replaced. 

Hm, maybe all the long, I stand nowhere in her heart at all. 

只是一个小小的吵架，却能让她那么轻易的说再见。

i often asked myself, am I the main problem for people leaving me?

Or issit the one I finding the one I looking for, didn't turn up yet? 

If someone was to ask me "are you happy" 

Please know I'm "not" deep in my heart. 

I really miss those happy moment of my life

& I just wanna smile once again soon. 

no matter how hard I tried to smile how hard I tried to open up muself, 

I end up having doubts about life having doubts about people arnd me 

because tbh, I'm afraid of getting cheated, getting dump by people.

am taking a long bus ride right now, and I pause my writing for awhile, 

looking out of the window, seeing people walking arnd, those happy faces they had,

and I wonder where were mine? 

I looked at the tree, at those lamp post, and road, I wonder, 

is this life? is this the life I wanna want? 

Who can see those pain and scars I had inside me?

Who can understand how I feel?

always hoping there's someone who will come to me like sudden, 

see through the demons in me, 

HUG ME, and tell me to cry everything out. 

Bring me to a place where I can shout my troubles out.

I'm really dying on the inside.