There's no other place I would rather be other then in your arms

Hello xx 

Gonna start of with a very happy story.
Which is, I met someone that I always look out for &
I wanna thank god to allow him to entering my life.
someone who put me in the first no matter what he do,
willing to go an extra milestone just to see me smile and happy everyday.
someone who would wipe my tears off my face when I'm upset and
never fail to give me a warm hug at the end.
Someone who can starve himself just to let me have something to eat.
& someone who is willing to be my hearing machine.
Someone who sacrifice his sleep just to talk to me and even help me out with my
school work.

Surprising me at my workplace and even school.
there's a saying goes like
" a real bf will protect you, be insecure, love you & can't stand to stop talking to you"
and I'm proud to say, I found one.

I'm someone who have a bad attitude and temper & I tends to show it to him even when
I know he ain't in the wrong, but nevertheless, he would just cheer me up and endure all my shitty temper. (':

and when he see me stress up by school work / projects & work stuff, he would always
encourage me & motivate me.
never once leave me alone to face all this myself.

taking good care of me when I fallen sick, stick by my side no matter where I go, and even apps my mom to buy panadol back home for me.

 

Falling aslp on my house living room's floor when there's bed inside my room, but because he said "he wanna stay beside me so that if I were to feel unwell, he will know." 

knowing all my background stories but still loving me with everything you have.

Tho in other people's eyes, he ain't perfect, he make mistakes and he had alot of flaws
but to me, he's everything to me.
I see all the little thing and efforts he had done for me and put into me.

Babylim,
you're the best that I can ever asked for, thank you for the things you had done for me.
it was never an easy job to tolerate my attitude and temper at times but you did it.
You had nv failed to show me your care , love and concern, Im happy that I found you
&
for real, I'm not gonna let you go so easily.
I know you're going to army in few more months and you get very paranoid nowadays
and you tends to think a lot, but rest assured. you're the one that I need and believe me,
I'm not going to leave you like how others did. (':

I love you so much xo 

Kiss the rain

Hey supsup!

First news of all, im attached. WEW. 

And i know there will be alot of people saying like ' i changed bf like changing my own clothes ' 

But they have not being through what i'm going through and they wont know what im feeling or thinking.

And true enough, i myself don't even understand myself sometimes. 

But it's okay for those who wanna judge me because i can't do anyth. 

I just wanna be happy and i'm glad i found my another half. 

He may not be perfect to others and other people might not cherish him, but i'll.

He's the guy that give me the feeling of lasting, and no matter what happened, I really wana him to stay. <3

Thank you for staying and out of so many girls in this world, you choose me.

Thanks for always giving in to me and treating me likea princess. 

I wil never find someone like u again. 

Plz stay in my life and not leave. I love you my dear boy. 

no worries because I'm here

no more sad post coz imma finally a happy bitch xx 

things hasn't been good & smooth for me this few months but I'm glad, 

I met this guy who give me feel the things I longed for. (: 

He had every little things that I wanted and no one had given me this kind of feelings. 

I just feel amazed by the way he's and the way he treat me. 

and unknowingly, I wanna him to keep him by my side no matter what. :D

He would always find time for me despite being fucking sleeply and there's schl the next day / even work. 

He shows me his responsibility towards everything. 

He never fail to make me laugh and smile even when I don't feel like. 

The feelings of having him around me or even by texting, gets me v happy. 

I would always look forward to meet him even if it's just for a short while. :D 

His endless care love and support melted my heart. 

He know he's going to army, and he get v paranoid and insecure. 

He always tell me how much he love me and had nv judge me w my bare faces instead he compliment me & tells me I'm pretty w my bare face. 

and I remembered v clearly that he went to buy one whole packet of pad for me coz I was having menses out of sudden in school & I got work straight after that.

He came over to my workplace to pass me the pad that he bought as well as some choco to calm my cramps.

I know that's nothing to you guys, but tbh, I had never met a guy who can just take the pad and go to the counter to pay money. 

He's those guy who's v shy, but he put away his shy-ness and bought it for me. 

He's not good with words & he can't really express himself out, but because of me, he did. 

he tell me how he feels and everything in my face. 

can u guys imagine how much courage he had put in just to say out his feelings and thinkings he had for me? 

huehue, there's alot more but I guess all this can't be explained by words. 

So, thank u yang. <3 

rainbow will be out soon

Dai ge ho ! :D 

Guess who's back? haha. 

where do I start from? um. 

actually I'm kinda speechless now, because too many things is going on my mind 

and I have no clue where to start from. 

It's like everything came hitting on me and I couldn't take it. 

yesterday I was sitting on a round table near my house, crying so badly. 

and I picked up my phone, I called those people that i feel like, 

and guess what? 

huimin answered my phone straight away. 

and I only say "hello"

she know I'm crying. she stopped everything she's doing and hear me out. 

She tried to give me advices and I'm fucking thankful for that. 

next, my primary school friend, 

tho ne didn't picked up my call, but he called me back within 5 mins. 

Tho he's tired aft work, but he still hear me out. 

When I was alone sitting at the round table, I asked myself,

who will really be there for me when I have problems? 

who will cry for me if I'm dead? who will regret not telling me that they love me 

when I'm still breathing?

I didnt slept well the previous night. 

Woke up in the middle of the nights for 4-5 times. 

flipping here and there, rolling to and fo my bed and I still can't find any reason 

to fall aslp with peace. 

people asked me if I'm okay, 

I only can smiled and say "I will be okay soon" 

I know I'm v always emotional with my thoughts and my endless dramatic life. 

I'm tired of it too. 

when can I really be happy ? when can I tell everybody

"hey, I'm happy today" 

when can I proudly update my blog w ONE happy post??

I guess it had been a long time since I was happy. 

I can't even remember when was I really happy. 

They said " it's just a bad day and not a bad life, live w it " 

YES! I know. I know all this logic! 

my thoughts are so deep that it always kills me in the inside & it's legit. 

I might not show it, but trust me, I wasn't really happy about my life. 

I made a lot of mistakes and I wish I could rewind the time. 

I make a lot of bad choices in life and I hope I can re-make the choices again. 

But no, time won't rewind anymore. 

and what can I do? 

Live w it and suck thumbs. (':

keep moving

Did you ever felt that everyone is busying with their own things 

and 

you're the only one who's so god damn free? 

Because I felt this way. 

Well, I work, I've school, I've project to do, 

but no matter how busy how many things I had to do, 

at the end of the day, I'm still stuck in those thoughts. 

I'm really tired. 

Friends.... I have. 

those few primary school friends of mine, we had drifted.

Both of them have their own gf to accp.

another one is busy w work and work. 

But thanks god the one working, didn't forget about me. 

He still came down to my workplace when he know I needeed him. (: 

really really wanna have some time w all 3 of them. 

Talking about the life we had during primary school days. 

tho I may seem small things to people out there but I swear this is my dream.

but seem like nobody is free. :')

Another friend of mine, we drifted in one night time. 

I can't even believe in her heart, I'm sucha easily replaced. 

Hm, maybe all the long, I stand nowhere in her heart at all. 

只是一个小小的吵架，却能让她那么轻易的说再见。

i often asked myself, am I the main problem for people leaving me?

Or issit the one I finding the one I looking for, didn't turn up yet? 

If someone was to ask me "are you happy" 

Please know I'm "not" deep in my heart. 

I really miss those happy moment of my life

& I just wanna smile once again soon. 

no matter how hard I tried to smile how hard I tried to open up muself, 

I end up having doubts about life having doubts about people arnd me 

because tbh, I'm afraid of getting cheated, getting dump by people.

am taking a long bus ride right now, and I pause my writing for awhile, 

looking out of the window, seeing people walking arnd, those happy faces they had,

and I wonder where were mine? 

I looked at the tree, at those lamp post, and road, I wonder, 

is this life? is this the life I wanna want? 

Who can see those pain and scars I had inside me?

Who can understand how I feel?

always hoping there's someone who will come to me like sudden, 

see through the demons in me, 

HUG ME, and tell me to cry everything out. 

Bring me to a place where I can shout my troubles out.

I'm really dying on the inside. 

stop there, stay here.

Helloooooo 

sad again at this hour. 

I know, I'm irritating by my own thoughts and feelings. I ain't feeling any better too. 

and I get irritatated by myself too.

I hate myself for thinking so much, and I hate myself for being me. 

Well, actually I doesn't wanna care that much too, and I myself know, I didn't put in my 100% in it. 

But I didn't know why I just kept on thinking so much. 

I guess is because I had been down with lots of stress this few days & I can't think straight. ;') 

Please tell me what to do with my life. 

there's too much things going on in my mind and it's making me so fucking stress out. 

Sigh, this is killing me. But who can really understand me? 

NOBODY.

I wonder if one day I were gone, who will miss me, who will understand what I had being through and understand how much I had done for them. 

I wonder who will turn up at my funeral & cry for me. 

who will tell me they love me from the bottom of their heart. 

and I guess by the time, I would have alr being happy without any worries. 

lost in wonderland

supsupoi. (': 

am omw home now with my girls & I've no idea why am i so sad and down out of sudden. I feel so shitty & exhausted about everything now. :'( 

I don't know what had got into me but I simply don't feel like entertaining anyone. 

and here im blogging. :') 

seems like too many things hit me today and I'm so lost. sigh. 

I really really don't like the feeling of being replaced. I guess I'm really afraid of seeing people coming and leaving my life like it's normal. 

why do they have to always make me choose between this and that. 

why can't they just be understanding and think from my point of view? 

I'm so tired of life tbh. trying hard to smile every single day and tell myself everything gonna be fine but I myself know it's impossible. 

I really tried v hard, I tried to care less and expect less but every time I tried, I would end up caring and thinking more... 

till here then x bye x 

my 18th birthday

Hi! :D

turned 18 yesterday! 

The day I waited for v long finally arrived. :D

So let's begin!

Wasn't feeling very excited / looking forward to my birthday acthally, because I thought I had already drifted from many many many people & they won't even rmb my birthday.

as some of them know, I had a terrible past & I didn't get to celebrate my birthday last year. 

Whereas I cried myself to bed last year on my birthday, handling break up from my ex. 

& I rmb I swore that I won't celebrate my birthday anymore.

so maybe that's why I didn't have the excitement I used to have. Always asking what my friends gona buy for me / how they gonna celebrate it for me. 

This year, I kept quiet. Didn't remind anybody that my birthday is coming. 

I kept everything to myself.

& the fact is, I cried on my birthday like a pathetic dog because the people I expected to wished me didn't. 

Boyf wasn't really prepared but I know he had planned for kinda long. 

Things didn't turned out the way I expected because most of them ain't free / broke.

Quarreled w bf for 3 days straight bfr my birthday because I feel he doesn't even bother too. 

I admit I was very very dishearten & disappointed.

but well, there's nth I could do & I just went to work on my birthday. 

So bfr I went to work, i went to meet boyf at panjang. 

Had kkm for lunch with bf, kok yong & yongkong. 

Tho it's just a small grp of them, but I'm glad that they took their time to eat tgt w me. 

& finally get to see my bf after so many days, literally make me smile & forget everything. 

After lunch, we went to plaza. 

unfortunately, smth happened & my mood was so terrible and fucking sad.

giving attitude & being super gaowei & cranky like a mad women

Venting my anger at bf yet he still remain quiet & calm me down. 

Afterwards they sent me to work. (: 

During work, I indeed regretted. 

regret for coming to work on my birthday & 

People was like asking me, 

"why you work on your birthday" 

Customers asked me 

"18th is a big celebration, why you don't seem happy"

"where are you heading to after work!"

I really don't know what to answered. 

I kept quiet and smiled. 

Walking away with lots of thoughts in my mind. 

Was super distracted during work & smth happened again.

Went to a corner and cried my heart out. 

Feeling that the whole world is against me. 

Called my bf up & tell him everything. 

I bet he was shocked to heard me crying so badly. 

Than, my boss came up to me and hear me out. 

Thanks god for this 2 guys, I calm down. (:

Went back to work after awhile.

My boss asked the bartender to make a special drink for me.

"mojito" 

which had some mint and sweet taste.

After drinking i indeed feel better. 

*thankful*

Went home after work, & was crying again in the bus. 

Blaming myself for being such a failure in everything. 

When I alighted from bus, I really really wished to see my bf / friends surprising me. 

But there's no one. 

So I continue walking to the lift, wiping my tears away & trying to comfort myself. 

& that's when I saw Huimin popping out from my house lift with a envelop and present on her hand. 

I left speechless & shocked & I cried more. 

Talked under my blocked for awhile and she said she would sent me up to my house since I'm so sad. 

when I wanna walked towards the lift, saw bf , angle, kokyong, yong kong walking out from my lift with a cake. 

that point of time I really really happy & everyone started to sing birthday song for me. 

They asked me to go up to my house because there's more surprise.

& when I went up, I see a heart shape ballon sticking onto the wall with bf and my photos on it. 

I literally don't know what to say.

Looking through the photos one by one & seeing each and everybody faces. 

then I realize There's people who cares. 

I really wanna thanks those few who make my birthday sucha memorable. 

Especially huimin!

You know I'm so upset and I cried so so much & you purposely came to my house there to surprise me w present tho I still haven't got your belated birthday present.

Your hand writen letter make me touched. I love the present you gave me. <3

& also my bf for planning all this for me. No words could express how touched and grateful to have you. <3

& the 3 person who is part of the surprises.

Thanks for taking out your time to come and surprise me. 

Spending money & thinking those idea to surprise me. 

without you guys, there won't be this surprises because I know my bf is bad at planning things.

*Hahaha*

really thanks to angle , kok yong , yongkong , huimin and bf. <3

You guys really really awesome. :D

Not to forgot, those who wishes me at fb, Twitter & whstsapp. 

I will nv forget. <3

& to the 3 closest brothers I had, Beng Sheng andy & isaiah. 

I know you guys wanted to surprise me but one is not free and another didn't replied.

But I'm really happy that bs put in the effort to plan all this for me. (;

I saw the effort you guys make and I will nv forget. <3 

Once again, thanks everyone for being of my life & make me feel so wanted & happy.

lots of love. <33333

Trust no one , fear no bitch

hello good morning everyone <3
so why would I decide to blog in the morning because I had been thinking a lot since yesterday.
and this feelings is so fuckup.

like what i wrote in my tittle, trust no one & fear no bitch.
simply because I really can't find any reason to trust anybody right now.
The feelings when you tried to trust someone
and they back stabbed you real hard without you even knowing.

I've no idea how some people would be like
"oh you're my girlfriend, you're my sister , you're my best friend"
and
behind you say lots of stupid and UNTRUE thing.
Come on, why are you even being so fake?
that's so uncool and disgusting of you.
oh wait, are you defending yourself or you think like this is cute? :)

I DONT KNOW (????)
*laughed*
but the only thing I know was they're super disgusting and gross.
Thinking back whatever they had said and done to you, those endless acting and drama, just make me literally turned me off.
RIGHT?!?!

No idea why these kind of people is still living in this world.
ohman, you're just wasting our resources.
 Never in my life, I met this kind of people but till today, i know one.
and it was really really fuckup and "EW"

am actually glad that I did ,
because this make me choose my friend wisely and make me learn from it.
but come to think, those people are just rotting their life away.

Finding things to say about them which is untrue ain't gonna make you look like you're the victim
in fact
you're making people to laugh at those stupid things you had done. :D

Dislike people with a better reason next time (:
Don't be a fuckup ass because no one would like it.
They just gotta stay true and be yourself.
Behaving like this just make my stomach cramps.

Totally nothing I could think of to describe them  because ......
I'M  REALLY REALLY SPEECHLESS LA.

Abit worried and afraid for those people friends because there might be a next time.
:D

Be careful of your friends. :)

Ending with a big smile because ..........

IT'S OVER. :D

Goodbyeeeeeeeee. <3

//

bro, I know what you had went through I know what you're feeling, but I know you can find someone EVEN better and last till the longest with her.
stopped thinking and hoping for people who didn't even cherished you and did so many stupid things to you.
you definitely deserve someone better.
and this teaches you to see properly who you're choosing. :)
see you tomorrow for our sakae sushi w le bf.
Stay strong and there's still lots of friend whom cared about you arnd you.
you're actually much more fortunate than some people out there who is prolly sucking up to another person ass now because you have a lot of good friends arnd you.
believe me, you will get back again soon.
Cheers and see you tomorrow dog. :D

Happy 1st Monthsary

HAPPY 1ST MONTHSARY MY DEAR BOY! 

First of all, 

thank you for enduring all my shitty attitude and fuckip temper. Giving in to me all the time. 

And always pampering me with everything you could. :D 

Also your generousity always make me feel so blessed because you will nv gehgao with me about money. *YUMYUM*

Treating me foods when I'm super broke / not enough cash. 

Stuffing cab fare fr me when it's very late. 

thank you for always caring for my safety & my health. 

Buying me cough syrup and strepsils when I'm down with a bad cough. 

Your endless reminder of loving me every single day & night. 

.Fetching me from school without any complaint despite the dostance you had to travel. 

I never knew there will be someone who will love me more than anything. 

You proved me wrong , you show me your perserverance and your true love  to melt my heart. 

The first day I saw you at laode house I really don't know you would be so impt to me. 

And the very first time I went to 621 to slack w you, 

I didn't even bother to talk to you / even take a look at you.

But because of your concern due to some problems that happened, we became closer and closer. 

You fell for me first and i rejected you because I thought you will be another guy whom will just toy with my feelings 

Than, I realize I actually fall for you too. But I kept pushing you away , being cold to you and always being so negative minded when we chat and I know you're kinda irritated by it.

BUT 

you didn't let go of me, you stayed and you changed my negative mindset. 

You proved to me that there's actually real love & you will always tell me how good and awesome Im. *BLESSED*

Next , I wanna apologized for every mistake so had done for this past 1 month. 

I know I have princess attitude and I always get so pekcek and cranky easily, losing my temper over small things and giving attitude here and there for nothing.

but still thank you for understanding and giving in to me even when it's not your fault.

Your patience toward me made me feel so comfortable. 

I also know I always get jealous easily and being so insecure and paranoid but you had NEVER fail to make me feel better and assured me with what I wanna hear. 

Baby lee, you had been a great partner. I swear . 

Thanks for bringing so much joy into my life.

no words could express how much I love you. <3

Here's the photos we had took in this 1 month! 

<Not all of it is here tho> 

Enjoy ! :D

happy 1st monthsary to you darling xoxo 

i love you because I need you.

here's something i wna share!

a guy whom I knew through friend.
Wasn't really close with him & didn't notice him in the first place / i shld say I didnt even take a second look at him.

but there's one time, something happened to me and one of his friend.
He Twitter DM me && asked me what's going on, and cheer me up.
He talked otp with me when I'm super super down && lent me his ear when I'm crying like a mad dog. Telling me what is right and what's wrong.
Enduring all my shitty attitudes here and there. Trying hard to keep the conversation going on no matter how cold I replied.

And i can share with you all my secrets & my past relationship and he will never judge me no matter what!
Falling in love with me even when I'm in a mess!

Even when we are not together,
he would tried all ways to make me happy, do everything he could, to see me smile!

Surprising me with my fav soft toy, and gift out of sudden.
Telling me how impt Im to him, showing me all his love and care all the time!
Asking me if I'm hungry / thirsty every now and then.

and finay, we got together!
All this didn't change a single bit. He dote on me more, pampered me more, give in to me more & even tried all ways to understand me more.
Always make me feel so wanted and love. Not afraid to show me off to his friend that Im his's !
Kissing me in front of his friends, protecting me in a fucking cute way when his friend disturb me. And always hear my explanation when I did smth wrong & forgive me easily.

Today, he said this to me "I wna show you off to my friend"
this aetence melted my heart instantly!
That's him who had nv fail to make me feel love & proud to have him.

Maybe to some of them out there, he might not be the best, he might not be that handsome / perfect. 

but to me, he's my everything. 

he's perfect in his own way, he's cute in his own way & in fact all this doesn't really matter. what matter most was, the way he treat me, the way he would make me smile. 

The way he would dote me and care for me and even pampered me in every way he could. 

And most impt, the love he given me & the love he had proven me. 

darling, thank you for those small little things you had done.
Staying by my side when things get hard & always accp-ing me when I'm sad.
sending me those stupid and funny audio when I'm angry !
Surprising me with gifts again and again.
no words could express how much I love you. :D
thank you baby. (:

cause all of me loves all of you.

whatsuppppppps ! :D 

on Friday, after my school, went to Jurong east to meet my loves ! 

had Bangkok jam for our dinner & we spent over $100 plus on that meal! :(

After our dinz , walked arnd jurong east ! 

homed early :D 

next,

movie time w my loves again @ jurongeast! 

watched "run all night" ! 

Wasn't really into action movie but I have to say, this movie not bad. 

*thumbs up* 

On Wednesday, 

went to jurongeast again with loves to have our mookata date!!

Swear I was fucking full on that day.   

after dinz, went back

to panjang with them! 

friday!!

Didn't attend school on that days and went to find le bf! 

hehehehehe. <3 

After that, bowling with clique @ hometeam ns. 

after bowling, went to laode house ! :D

than, went to gombak 's sintua! 

Stayed till 9pm and than travel back home alone. :))

as for today, went out at arnd 8pm plus to find le bf!! hehehehe..

homed at 12 plus ! 

guess that's all for the whole week! 

here's some photos to end with my post!

goodnight everyone ! 

time to turn in now!

muaaaaaaaaa x 

stay tune people! 

muaaaaaaaa xxx.